Tuesday, September 17, 2013

3:43 am.

...and I am keeping her away.

This feels weird. This feels like, standing against a door - a door, which has neither a pull nor a push sign. Seconds passing by, lengthening the silence around - between me, and my mind. I quickly retrieve my packet of cigarette from the counter, and start looking for a lighter. I wish I knew if it was the smoke in my lungs, but I was sure, because there are lines drawn into me that I dare not cross, and because there are some promises I still keep. 

Defense mechanism? Probably. 
I take a puff, gathering my thoughts, realizing, fighting this silent noise my brain is making. Yes, shit happens. People die, fuck, fall in love, fuck, get out of love, fall in love, sleep, fuck again. And that is it. There is nothing said about it. There is nothing great about it. There is nothing fake about it. There is nothing, nothing about it. It just is. And you watch. And you listen. And you hear. And you feel. And you fucking keep quiet about it. 

Are we arrogant enough to not realize that the city does not sleep on our shoulder? It cries for the smoke, that surrounds it, the unclear vision which hampers our mind-sight. But, the cigarettes are cheap. And tasteless. And the city is colorless and between the rust and ivory of people and papers, it's surrounded by this filthy smoke. Filthy fucking smoke.

I get up from the chair, I have been living on and drag myself to the counter for another cigarette. 7 left? I can never have enough. There's always too much. But, isn't that true? One more night to spend with her. One more hour of playing eye games. One more minute to stare at her, at her smile. One more second to look away from all of this. If only.

Gasping for air, slowly, taking in the scent she had left behind - coffee and smoke. There's not a whole lot to say about it, or anything.

All I know, some kid fucked up somewhere today, like always - and I can drink to that!

Monday, March 5, 2012



My Dearest This-That Relationship,

I don't want to define you, Y-E-T.
I am happy.
In a weird way.

Just be there.


Monday, September 26, 2011

How to Become a Popular Blogger... (Part 2!)

Let us face it. You all want to be popular like these crazy minded bloggers, who are arrogant enough not to reply back to your comments. (I just replied back to all the comments on every post of mine, even the two year old ones, you see!)

Also, this is a season of sequels, and prequels, right? Right, come on, now? It is. I know that. And even if it isn't, I'll still post this. So, it's moot. To cut short the foreplay, this post is nothing, but a sequel of one of the most popular posts of this blog. And here it goes:

1. Write letters.
Oh, you seriously think I'm kidding? Trust me, I am not. Write a letter... to anyone, to anything, and you will, I bet, will certainly get a minimum of 50+ comments. Simple. Way. Out. "Letter to a Madrasan girl", "Letter to a Delhi boy", "Letter to your ex-girlfriend", your dick, your ass, your brain, the teacher who fucked you badly with your grades in school, college, your divorced wife, husband, girls, boys, Shahrukh Khan, Salman Khan - ANYONE. It has to work. It has never failed, eh?

2. Anti-Twilight/Bieber posts.
When everything fails to bring you some decent comments on your blog, go out and fetch everyone with your nasty anti-Twilight, or anti-Bieber posts. You see, 25% of the comments I am going to get on this post, will certainly be concerned with this dear Twilight image I added, trying to bash me to death with their Twilight, or Bieber, or even Ravindra-Jadeja-love. But, you want to be popular, right? This is the hard route.

3. Be innovative.
 You think this is an ezine-article, sort of point? Nope, nope. You need to be innovative like this guy.
See. You get my point, now, do you. Even if you are writing a simple, lame, retarded post - and you are sure that no one will give a fuck about that post, innovate. This is the most serious, and yet the working point for you to be popular, to hell, for anyone to be popular. Though, mind you - being over innovated can fuck your life, too. Like this:  

4. Advice people on how to be popular!
You get the drift to this post, now, do you?

5. Write some man vs. woman - females vs. males - boys vs. girls post.
Yes, I know. Girls suffer a lot. Boys are lame. We suck. You suck. I suck. Everyone sucks. Can't we all just stop cribbing about it, once and for all? You just can't go on a rampage and kill all the chauvinists; they are still going to be alive, stare at you, your boobs, your everything. This world sucks. And there's enough of it. So, if you are lucky to actually find some decent HUMAN BEING, IRRESPECTIVE OF THEIR GENDER, HOLD ON TO THAT PERSON - and stop fucking cribbing about their gender, and generalize irrationally, for the sake of it.  Though, writing such a post, for the argument, or against it, is certainly going to get you some creep loads of visitors. Go figure.

6. Write depressing posts.
"My boyfriend left me, for another girl." Uhun, go on, I am listening. "I need to write down some sad poems because I was ditched." Ahan, I am still listening, and reading - go write some sadistic poems, for the sake of it, and for the sake of those same, age old, cliched rhyming words. Can you just look at #3, and show some innovation, to show off that you are nothing, but, depressed? Can you? And hey, mind you, we care... a lot, even if you go missing, and don't post for a couple of months. We will be bothered. You doubt, eh?

7. Unfunny comic strips. *
You got nothing to post? Here's what you need to do. "Open Google." "Look around for a decent comic making website." "Pop up your super unfunny idea, and make that as a comic." "With ultra lame, and irritating characters." "Mind you - hilariously boring is a major requirement!" You are certainly up for about 20-25 comments, with nothing than "ROFL", "LMAO", "HAHAHAHAHA", your bad - what do you really expect from the commenter to post, really?

 * - Omit this point if you are one actually funny smart-ass to make some decent, hilarious strips. #Respect No one dislikes a funny strip. :)

Simplest. Way. EVER.  "I'm done with this blogging world, I think I need a life, a serious life." Alright, for sure, we'll see you tomorrow. I get it; you've had all the drama/bullshit/blah, blah, blah, blah, and nothing is just working out for you. "Huh? You think I am kidding. Seriously! I'm leaving!" Leave already, baba. Despite how popular you think you are, the truth is, no one gives a shit if you leave and never come back.  Just leave quietly and never return. "I'm never coming back! Never!" Okay, you are already boring me with you fucking shit - we'll see you in a week or two. Have fun, till then.

9. Fake yourself to be the next legendary photographer!
For God's sake, we have some decent photographers in the blogging world, and they certainly click some brilliant photographs. Why the fuck, do you need to interfere in their genre, just to prove that you are nothing but another retarded being on this planet, who will go to any extent to prove that, well, you want to be popular. Here's way your out; be a temporary photo-blogger, in spite of being clueless about those terms like, focus, light, and blah blah. Genuine Photo-blogger? Respect, again. :) Self-explanatory, eh?

10. Pretend that your blog was hacked!
Seriously, you think this won't work? Write a rant, praise Salman Khan, post video links of Bieber's songs, claim that you are a homophobic, a rapist, a thief, a murderer, post nudes, your nudes, your favorite nudes. DO ANYTHING. And then, simple, the next post - "I am sorry for the fuck up guys, my account was hacked." I trust you, it was. There's no way on Earth, you'd get an urge so strong to post so many porn photos in a single post. I know you, little cute fellow!

11. Post your love/hatred for a religion.
Oh, you already did know that, this one is a pure picture perfect, eh? Okay, this one is for the ones who just want views, and comments - irrespective of how abusive, lame, and moronic the comments are. One lame, for the sake of religion post, and bang - you have shit loads of visitors on your website/blog, now. People care, and give so much damn about religions, you have no idea. Go try it out. There's no chance on Earth, it won't work. I bet my ass on this one. Tried, and tested.

12. Bitch about your ex-girlfriend, ex-boyfriend!
Okay, being sad about your breakup is one thing. Being hurt about breaking up is another thing. BUT, BITCHING ABOUT YOUR EX, days after your breakup? This one is class apart, and the best thing about it? You still manage to get all the sympathy in this world. Too bad, your ex is not a blogger, else, well, you know. If you are so scared of being alone, and alone, and lonely, and a loner, and the synonyms are the only sane thing in your life, here's way your out: 

13. Fight over the internet.
"How the fuck did that person manage to steal my followers?" "How come you have more friends than me on Facebook?" "Blame anyone on the internet, for anything troubling you in your real, and virtual life. And sadly, people will care.

...and remember, in the end


... and thus, I screwed my every chance of getting laid, now or, ever. Thank you very much!


Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The Cactus Garden!

"I think I want to visit the Cactus Garden."
"Okay, so, can I conclude that you have gone nuts, again?"
"WHAT? It exists, in REAL, dumbass."
"Get me some photos of that place, then, eh, works?"
"Like a fucking charm, it does... to hell with your bet. I am going there, still, anyway!"


Cactus garden, is a famous, or may be not so famous, garden. The name is self explanatory, eh? Sailana is only 20 kilometers from Ratlam - (Yes, that city in JabWeMet. #facepalm) is one of the rare places where you can find a wide variety of cacti in different stages of growth and colours. I am not really sure, how old the garden is, but since the ruler of the place hasn't handed over the control to the Govt., (As if the Govt. would have done anything, ha!) and doesn't even live there, as of now, it is kind of poorly managed, the facilities, you may say - minus the only gardener who puts everything on the line to make the garden look beautiful, and well... worth visiting. Take a look at these photographs, and decide for yourself. Simple, eh?


No, this kid ain't me... lucky you, guys!

And after visiting the cactus garden, thoughts like, "Living my life like a cactus/with a cactus/for some cacti...", and you know, get the drift, please, controlled my mind, for a while - till I visited another peaceful place, near by. Though, accident-prone, but yeah, still.

I don't really recall the name of this place, blame the local name of the place... must have been lame, anyway. But, a nice, decent, and importantly, a PEACEFUL spot, this was.(!)(?)
And to mention, for God's sake, there is always a way to click on a particular photograph, for their increased size, don't fucking crib about it. And yeah, it does feel weird not to rant about anything, for a change. But, the next post? Is. Ranting. Personified. Seriously. Till then!