Thursday, June 30, 2011

Alienated, yet again... - (Part I)

#truestory - Credits: http://absence-is-steel.deviantart.com/

I know I have been missing for quite a while, now. But, as you guys do know what a brilliant human being I am, and probably the best savior of this planet. See, I prevented Earth from being destroyed, once, too. So, I am probably close to Batman, or maybe even better than that!

But, anyway, the point is... I've been missing, and I know I have been missed by loads of people, and it's genuine missing me, 'cause of the awesomeness surrounding me. But, yeah, I was missing from Facebook, Twitter, even from the V-Blog, because I was fucking kidnapped by those dumb ass green-y looking lame creatures, yet again. And no, I am not over-reacting to it. They are big time dumbasses, I mean who on Earth, er, whatever the name of their planet was, lets go of a genius like me? See. Dumbasses.

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As I do know, how patiently you all read my crap, so I'm just making sure that you guys don't miss out anything on my alien abduction - thus I will have to make you all go through the entire foreplay, the act, and the orgasm. Yes, I did say orgasm. Read it for more "action." Serious "action."
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Without caring a shit about this world, I was in my room, listening to Metallica, watching erotica, well, er, reading it, if I remember - when my room turned environment friendly with green shady light all around; for a second, I thought, maybe I was reading environment friendly erotica, but, what the fuck? Someone was knocking my door. There. I sensed it. I was going to be kidnapped by another set of aliens, from a different planet, now. Damn, it's so hard being a genius in this world, I tell you.

I, being an excellent judge of human character, could sense that they needed me to destroy the Earth, yet, again. But, this was different. This was better. They wanted to experiment on me.

...and thus, they turned me into one of their own breed, the alien - yes, your dearest, sexiest  Blogger, had turned into an alien. It was a dark world, the feeling of having three eyes (One of it never worked, I wonder why!) - the feeling of being a vulnerable human was taken away from me...

I was clueless, in the alienated world. Literally. The only shining light in my new life, was still Google. They too, relied on Google. For everything. To anything. (Respect Sir Larry Paige, and Sergey Brin!) The Google Translator was working, I could use it. I couldn't believe my luck. 

March. April. May. June. Four months of being an alien, in an alien world - ah!

#truestory -Credits: http://djtriseandfall.blogspot.com/
Surviving without human porn, books to read, girls to stalk, humanity to blame everything for... it was different. They had sizes of their eyes, (A, B, C and D!) depending upon their capabilities of wooing a girl - here, I could openly view all the images of the porn stars I had filtered through, without being judged - and easily confusing the dumbasses. I could abuse humans, (Since that was a fundamental right!) openly criticize IIPM, and it's surreal "management", call the PM a lame-duck, shout "In your face Jesus!", and survive in Mumbai without speaking Marathi. I could openly criticize how lame Baba Ramdev's yog is, could easily blame Mr. Kapil Sibal for my fucked up results - and no one was going to judge me, here. I was living my life, was this they called heaven? Maybe. Well. It was just the beginning of their end.


March 7th, thanks to my attention gaining skills, and my controversial crap, I was already a popular one around, the king of that Alienland, whom I called "Alienbaba," (Sorry dude, I failed to pronounce your name!) had now heard enough of me, and was curious to know how, and more importantly why did someone like me agree, and allow myself to be kidnapped by the dumbasses they were...


I had a smile, a grin on my face... This was MY second attempt, at destroying the Earth, which had just begun, and was going to be unfolded, soon... very soon!

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Well, that's my first part of alien abduction, more to follow in the series of posts I will be writing. Yes, I am back on Earth. And yes, I know - no one gives a shit. Still.


Have any doubts regarding my abduction? Queries regarding the aliens? Boobs size? Dick size? Their habits? Their style of porn? Ask me anything about them, and their crap. 

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...the story, and the legend surrounding the incident will continue... till then!

21 comments:

  1. Haha, This is freaking Awesome. :D

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  2. How do you do thiss???

    I loved this one!

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  3. The truth is out there. Trust no one. :P Love your blog!

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  4. nice Sirji... but Damn they wanna to kidnap u!!
    Poor Aliens!! :)

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  5. Nice post as always...Waiting for more action

    P.S.How dare they take you away from us! We shall take revenge from the aliens!

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  6. Really unique writing style I am impressed..!

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  7. Epic Epic Epic. :)
    Simply epic. Keep them coming.

    - R.R

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  8. I share the same views. Liked your blog very much.

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  9. cant wait for sequels. Did you get to fuck any alien babes!

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  10. Your imagination is something to look forward to ;) I won't have let a mind like you escape the face of the earth :D

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  11. Oooh fucking awesome.. How do you come up with all this? Better.. How does such interesting stuff happen to you?

    *jealous much*

    P.S: Loved your blog.

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  12. Loved reading this! Too funny!

    Do not trust politicians for sure! John Edwards is a perfect example of that! He used campaign money to support and pamper his mistress! All while telling the US how important family is to him. A true dick!

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  13. hahaha... this post conform there isn't a limit for fun and imagination! cool one.

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  14. Visiting your blog first time and u've gained a new follower just awesome blog :)Nice write-up
    http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-zenith-of-enthusiasm-by-NH/219233198101971

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  15. i still dont like change =/


    wow, why do the aliens always come after you?? what if i want to be abducted? no fair.

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  16. I read and I am still on the floor rolling~
    why did they take you away? why? and how come all this interesting stuff happen to you? I would let go off my Greece trip and rather be alien-kidnapped!! Fucking awesome you are!!

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  17. hmmmmmmm, maybe i do want to be abducted. it sounds like a wonderful adventure. where do i go to sign up?

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  18. hahahaaa.... ur style reminds me of V.M.Bhasheer... u may not know him... he's a malayalee writer... he writes jokes just the way u do... awesome post....

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